In Genesis it says that God created man in his own image. We are all so different though so I wonder if this more a general statement about humanity or can we apply it to specifics even to the point of our personalities? Like maybe everyone we meet has a little piece of God in them and the more people we meet the more possible joy we can experience because we get to experience that piece of God that we would have never known before otherwise.
What about that person who notices all the obscure things about life and makes everyone laugh and have fun. Do you think God does that? That he is making the angels laugh in heaven? I hope so. I like that thought. Or what about that kind person you know that never has anything negative to say. A little easier to believe I guess that God is like that. Or what about the person in your life who is so carefree and enjoys every moment of life. Or the serious intellect who understands more about life than most ever will. Maybe God contains the sum of all the good we see in others and if we really look for the good in others we get to see God.
Of course there are going to be things in others that drive us nuts but today in my interactions with the world I am going to try and look past that. I will try to see the amazing things that God wants me to see in that person and if it means I can draw closer to Him in the process then all the more exciting. Well, just a thought anyways, but it makes me excited about knowing the friends I already have more and excited/curious about the ones I have yet to make!
Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female created them.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Who Am I?
They say that part of growing up is being comfortable with oneself. The trouble being that one must be aware of who exactly that person is. At least that is the hard part for me I should say. I’ve managed to acquire a lot of labels in my life, some positive and some not so much. Whether positive or negative though they were still definitions other people placed on me. Due to insecurity of my part, I’ve held tightly to these labels and what other people thought in hopes of finding acceptance.
In high school everyone knew me as the “good girl” and a “runner.” Not bad labels for sure, but is that really my identity? After repeated injuries and my weariness for the sport, track fell from the focal point of my life and I decided to not run in college (it would have been a small school anyways.) Suddenly I was lost. I had spent anywhere from 2 to 4 hours a day working out either at track practice before school or cross training club at night so its absence from my life was deeply felt.
After starting college I needed to fill the whole that track had left behind. Since being “the nice girl” had little to no appeal, I soon acquired the label “party girl” and believe me did I work hard to earn it. I was definitely the girl everyone had to “take care of” at the end of the night as it soon became a pretty much guarantee that I would be in trouble. I should count my blessings that I still have friends from those days. Needless to say I rarely do things halfway regardless of the importance and usefulness of my pursuit. Those who only knew me in high school would probably crack up laughing at the thought of my new label. It was that night and day.
I found many friends through this identity though and received much attention from boys so I had little desire to remove it. At the same time, the guilt of my actions caused me to hate who I had become but out of fear I kept the pretense; the belief that this life brought me happiness.
Now that I’m officially an adult, or so it would seem anyways, I find myself at this odd place of trying to act responsibly and living a life that brings me fulfillment. At times I haven’t felt like these two ideals can peacefully co-exist. How can I enjoy life if I have to force myself to be so serious and mature all the time?
My newest addition to the list of labels has been “a good Christian girl.” I almost feel that this one has caused me the most grief out of them all and my heart has grown weary. Instead of being who I am, I’ve tried to conform to what I envisioned a “good” Christian to be. I stopped going to clubs, dancing, and attending parties that I felt did not fit this ideal. I wanted to make myself a good person. Of course the whole circle in square peg thing never works and my main accomplishment has been to make myself miserable.
On a surface level, I know that my identity is in Christ so why do I care so much what other people think? What will it take for me to really believe and trust this? To have the courage to throw off the labels that have been wearing me out and rest in Jesus knowing that by His grace I am a child of God. To know that it doesn’t matter how other people define me. The truth is I’m not a “party girl” nor am I “a good girl.”
And so the question remains: who am I? Through bible study and the precious friends God has placed in my life, I've now learned that I am a child of God who is forgiven and loved. Nothing more is needed and thankfully, whether good or bad, nothing I do will ever change that. Amazing right?! That somehow the creator of the universe would choose to love us. And so I don't have to prove my worthiness to anyone! The only thing that changes is the choice I make to cling to this truth or not.
Romans 8:1-2
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
In high school everyone knew me as the “good girl” and a “runner.” Not bad labels for sure, but is that really my identity? After repeated injuries and my weariness for the sport, track fell from the focal point of my life and I decided to not run in college (it would have been a small school anyways.) Suddenly I was lost. I had spent anywhere from 2 to 4 hours a day working out either at track practice before school or cross training club at night so its absence from my life was deeply felt.
After starting college I needed to fill the whole that track had left behind. Since being “the nice girl” had little to no appeal, I soon acquired the label “party girl” and believe me did I work hard to earn it. I was definitely the girl everyone had to “take care of” at the end of the night as it soon became a pretty much guarantee that I would be in trouble. I should count my blessings that I still have friends from those days. Needless to say I rarely do things halfway regardless of the importance and usefulness of my pursuit. Those who only knew me in high school would probably crack up laughing at the thought of my new label. It was that night and day.
I found many friends through this identity though and received much attention from boys so I had little desire to remove it. At the same time, the guilt of my actions caused me to hate who I had become but out of fear I kept the pretense; the belief that this life brought me happiness.
Now that I’m officially an adult, or so it would seem anyways, I find myself at this odd place of trying to act responsibly and living a life that brings me fulfillment. At times I haven’t felt like these two ideals can peacefully co-exist. How can I enjoy life if I have to force myself to be so serious and mature all the time?
My newest addition to the list of labels has been “a good Christian girl.” I almost feel that this one has caused me the most grief out of them all and my heart has grown weary. Instead of being who I am, I’ve tried to conform to what I envisioned a “good” Christian to be. I stopped going to clubs, dancing, and attending parties that I felt did not fit this ideal. I wanted to make myself a good person. Of course the whole circle in square peg thing never works and my main accomplishment has been to make myself miserable.
On a surface level, I know that my identity is in Christ so why do I care so much what other people think? What will it take for me to really believe and trust this? To have the courage to throw off the labels that have been wearing me out and rest in Jesus knowing that by His grace I am a child of God. To know that it doesn’t matter how other people define me. The truth is I’m not a “party girl” nor am I “a good girl.”
And so the question remains: who am I? Through bible study and the precious friends God has placed in my life, I've now learned that I am a child of God who is forgiven and loved. Nothing more is needed and thankfully, whether good or bad, nothing I do will ever change that. Amazing right?! That somehow the creator of the universe would choose to love us. And so I don't have to prove my worthiness to anyone! The only thing that changes is the choice I make to cling to this truth or not.
Romans 8:1-2
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Strength
Restless. Anxious. Why do I never seem fully satisfied? As much as I do during the week with work and after school activities (most of which are more fun than not by the way) I still don’t feel like I’m living the life I want. Even though I'm not completely sure what "the life I want" is a part of me feels its absence as though God is holding out on me and so I need to start making my own way. Control my own destiny.
In the midst of my whining it occurs to me that maybe it’s a good thing…to not feel completely satisfied with this life. Maybe I was never meant to.
Paul wrote in Philippians 3:18-20:
For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Ultimately, I don’t belong here. I find this to be extremely exciting and comforting news truthfully! I don’t have to place my hope in other people, money, or accomplishments. My joy does not increase and diminish based on the next week’s schedule or happenings. It sounds so easy to believe this yet so hard to live these truths daily.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Also good news--I know that I do not have to rely on my strength. The trouble being that trust and surrender isn’t usually easy or fun or even obvious sometimes. Plus if you take pride in living a very self disciplined life like me then it’s even harder. Knowing that I can live a descent life without God is the hardest truth to bare and ignore. Ambition, self discipline, and work ethic are the corner stones and foundation of which my life has been formed and tearing apart foundation is never easy. I think that is what God is trying to do. Tear down the illusion of my strength and ability to live life without him. How frustrating it must be when I claim surrender yet fight him for control all the time.
Why even rely on God when I can do it myself? Ambition, self discipline, and work ethic aren’t bad things, Christian or not. In fact one could argue that they are quite necessary for anyone who plans to lead a productive and successful life. And so this question bothered me for a long time. But after time I realized that I can’t provide my own hope and joy. Well at least one that does not diminish or fade away. I became bored with that thing that once made me happy, the person I placed my hope in let me down, or that accomplishment or success wasn't enough... I needed more. Anxiously I kept trying to fill a void that I was never meant to fill. That is the main thing that keeps me turning back to Christ I think. Knowing that He is the only one who can give me a lasting hope and joy. Too bad my stubbornness and pride cause me to come crawling back to this realization almost daily.
In the midst of my whining it occurs to me that maybe it’s a good thing…to not feel completely satisfied with this life. Maybe I was never meant to.
Paul wrote in Philippians 3:18-20:
For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Ultimately, I don’t belong here. I find this to be extremely exciting and comforting news truthfully! I don’t have to place my hope in other people, money, or accomplishments. My joy does not increase and diminish based on the next week’s schedule or happenings. It sounds so easy to believe this yet so hard to live these truths daily.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Also good news--I know that I do not have to rely on my strength. The trouble being that trust and surrender isn’t usually easy or fun or even obvious sometimes. Plus if you take pride in living a very self disciplined life like me then it’s even harder. Knowing that I can live a descent life without God is the hardest truth to bare and ignore. Ambition, self discipline, and work ethic are the corner stones and foundation of which my life has been formed and tearing apart foundation is never easy. I think that is what God is trying to do. Tear down the illusion of my strength and ability to live life without him. How frustrating it must be when I claim surrender yet fight him for control all the time.
Why even rely on God when I can do it myself? Ambition, self discipline, and work ethic aren’t bad things, Christian or not. In fact one could argue that they are quite necessary for anyone who plans to lead a productive and successful life. And so this question bothered me for a long time. But after time I realized that I can’t provide my own hope and joy. Well at least one that does not diminish or fade away. I became bored with that thing that once made me happy, the person I placed my hope in let me down, or that accomplishment or success wasn't enough... I needed more. Anxiously I kept trying to fill a void that I was never meant to fill. That is the main thing that keeps me turning back to Christ I think. Knowing that He is the only one who can give me a lasting hope and joy. Too bad my stubbornness and pride cause me to come crawling back to this realization almost daily.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Balloon Popping
In an effort to build maturity in my *cough* old age I decided to celebrate my 28th birthday in a more subdued manner. Rather than making a big deal of the day (like I normally do) I decided to just plan something low key with a couple of friends. Anywhos as I was sleeping the night before my roommate decorates outside of my room with streamers and at least 30 balloons. So sweet! God only knows how long it took to blow up all those balloons. Of course one cannot throw away 30 blown up balloons. What a waste of trash bags! So we did the only logical and mature thing and have a balloon popping contest...as evidenced by the balloon remains pic.
Sadly upon my “mature” suggestion of the game my roommate brought out scissors. Uh hello…CHEATER! I quickly informed her, since evidently she was deprived of field day growing up, that one does not use scissors in a balloon popping contest…your bottom is the only appropriate tool.
So the moral of the story is that thankfully 28 is not too old to be completely mature (read: boring)! Growing up is so overrated anyways…ha.
P.S. I WON!!!
Sadly upon my “mature” suggestion of the game my roommate brought out scissors. Uh hello…CHEATER! I quickly informed her, since evidently she was deprived of field day growing up, that one does not use scissors in a balloon popping contest…your bottom is the only appropriate tool.
So the moral of the story is that thankfully 28 is not too old to be completely mature (read: boring)! Growing up is so overrated anyways…ha.
P.S. I WON!!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
What Now?
The past year I have committed a lot of time and effort towards self discovery and reflection yet now I’m left with one lingering question. What now? I know that I need to trust God and release the death grip I at times place on ‘my will’ but if focusing on self improvement is the means and the end then what is the point? When or how do I stop focusing on myself so much and start loving others? What will that even look like in my life? A friend of mine said that everyone has a different gift that they can use to make a difference. I believe this is true. I think God gives us different strengths and it is our responsibility to use these to serve Him and others. I know mine; it is teaching. I love it though at times I feel it is a rather sacrificial gift to be a teacher. When I have the summer to lay out at the pool and hang out with friends though I stop looking at it that way and recognize the blessing it is. Of course it is a blessing for other reasons such as making a difference in the life of a child and all that other good stuff. But for now, for today and this week, having the freedom to lay out at the pool in the middle of the afternoon is the blessing.
I keep thinking though that it isn’t enough. I still have more to give. I can still do more. Lately I’ve noticed that I don’t think twice about throwing down a couple of hundred dollars on a new outfit, I go out to eat with friends several times a week, and don’t get me started on how much money I’ve spent this summer on drinks! Oh the precious joy of the perfect, frozen margarita on a cool patio in summer. Does life get any better? I’m definitely not saying new clothes, eating out with friends, or having a happy hour drink are bad things; I’m just wondering if I spend too much money and thoughts on myself.
I haven’t decided the answer yet. Maybe the next death grip I need to release is the one on my money though. I’ve been blessed so shouldn’t I be blessing others in return? I want to be able to have extra money if there is a friend in need. If I hear of a cause worth serving I want to be able to give without worrying how it will effect my shopping. Frankly when I find I have more money in my account than I originally thought it typically goes towards clothing. And if I feel I don’t have much money on a given month suddenly every penny goes to me because the last thing I would dare to cut off in my budget are things I desperately need. (read- desperately want) So it would seem that whether I have a little or a lot my money I typically regard it as mine. I mean isn’t it? I’m not suggesting that I sell all my possessions and live off beans and rice in order to love others with my money though I’m sure God would not oppose such a sacrificial life. I just wonder if I could be doing more.
Matthew 6: 19-21 (NIV)
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
I keep thinking though that it isn’t enough. I still have more to give. I can still do more. Lately I’ve noticed that I don’t think twice about throwing down a couple of hundred dollars on a new outfit, I go out to eat with friends several times a week, and don’t get me started on how much money I’ve spent this summer on drinks! Oh the precious joy of the perfect, frozen margarita on a cool patio in summer. Does life get any better? I’m definitely not saying new clothes, eating out with friends, or having a happy hour drink are bad things; I’m just wondering if I spend too much money and thoughts on myself.
I haven’t decided the answer yet. Maybe the next death grip I need to release is the one on my money though. I’ve been blessed so shouldn’t I be blessing others in return? I want to be able to have extra money if there is a friend in need. If I hear of a cause worth serving I want to be able to give without worrying how it will effect my shopping. Frankly when I find I have more money in my account than I originally thought it typically goes towards clothing. And if I feel I don’t have much money on a given month suddenly every penny goes to me because the last thing I would dare to cut off in my budget are things I desperately need. (read- desperately want) So it would seem that whether I have a little or a lot my money I typically regard it as mine. I mean isn’t it? I’m not suggesting that I sell all my possessions and live off beans and rice in order to love others with my money though I’m sure God would not oppose such a sacrificial life. I just wonder if I could be doing more.
Matthew 6: 19-21 (NIV)
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Joy
I cheated a lot in high school. In several classes on end of the year exams I brought a cheat sheet and hid it under my test. One time I even completely written the essay we would write and copied it word for word. No one would have ever suspected me as a cheater. I was fairly sweet in class and always knew the right answers when called on. Teachers loved me.
I’ve noticed that it’s much easier to get away with things when no one perceives you as a threat. No one checks up on you because they don’t see the point. It’s taken for granted that you will not stray from the expected. And so the lies continue without conflict.
Much of college, or all rather, I pretty much lived day to day on what I thought gave me the most joy. This usually meant drinking until I could no longer stand and pretty much partying like a rock star….or so I thought anyways. I still don’t see anything wrong with seeking joy in life. After all doesn’t that make life worth living? Though my definitions of what brings joy have changed since then.
What I miss though about my former life is the lack of conflict. There was no war within my soul on what is the right course of action. Who cares what God or other people think? I grew up in a Christian home and came to realize how truly boring that life was. Needless to say I didn’t put up much of a fight for morality and thusly encountered no spiritual growing pains. No war wounds in the battle for righteousness. In this sense, life was pretty easy.
I can’t say that now. I have now found that there really is a joy in knowing God. A joy that is found in living for Him and serving others. Making that choice and taking that step to not live for myself alone brings me peace and joy. I wasn’t bored because of God before. I was bored in following a bunch of legalistic rules. The problem now though is the conflict. It’s much harder when one makes the decision in their mind to do the right thing. Suddenly life has complications and frustrations that were not so present before. Worse yet I find my strength quickly depletes if I don’t turn to God daily. Frankly some days I feel as though I am climbing a mountain; when before I was content to explore the valleys and plains.
So I guess the question is: why keep going? If one joy is without conflict and the other is then wouldn’t it make sense to follow the path of least resistance? Believe me I’ve pondered this more than I care to admit. However to me the difference, the unbelievably worlds apart difference, is hope. The hope that there is more to this life than what we can see. The hope that God has a plan, one far better than mine. The hope that the perseverance required to continually climb a mountain will one day reap a glorious reward. And so I fight. Fight to not take this life for granted. Fight to love others more than myself. Fight for the desire to love and know God more. I must fight for joy.*
*When I Don't Desire God by John Piper
Ephesians 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 6:10-18
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I’ve noticed that it’s much easier to get away with things when no one perceives you as a threat. No one checks up on you because they don’t see the point. It’s taken for granted that you will not stray from the expected. And so the lies continue without conflict.
Much of college, or all rather, I pretty much lived day to day on what I thought gave me the most joy. This usually meant drinking until I could no longer stand and pretty much partying like a rock star….or so I thought anyways. I still don’t see anything wrong with seeking joy in life. After all doesn’t that make life worth living? Though my definitions of what brings joy have changed since then.
What I miss though about my former life is the lack of conflict. There was no war within my soul on what is the right course of action. Who cares what God or other people think? I grew up in a Christian home and came to realize how truly boring that life was. Needless to say I didn’t put up much of a fight for morality and thusly encountered no spiritual growing pains. No war wounds in the battle for righteousness. In this sense, life was pretty easy.
I can’t say that now. I have now found that there really is a joy in knowing God. A joy that is found in living for Him and serving others. Making that choice and taking that step to not live for myself alone brings me peace and joy. I wasn’t bored because of God before. I was bored in following a bunch of legalistic rules. The problem now though is the conflict. It’s much harder when one makes the decision in their mind to do the right thing. Suddenly life has complications and frustrations that were not so present before. Worse yet I find my strength quickly depletes if I don’t turn to God daily. Frankly some days I feel as though I am climbing a mountain; when before I was content to explore the valleys and plains.
So I guess the question is: why keep going? If one joy is without conflict and the other is then wouldn’t it make sense to follow the path of least resistance? Believe me I’ve pondered this more than I care to admit. However to me the difference, the unbelievably worlds apart difference, is hope. The hope that there is more to this life than what we can see. The hope that God has a plan, one far better than mine. The hope that the perseverance required to continually climb a mountain will one day reap a glorious reward. And so I fight. Fight to not take this life for granted. Fight to love others more than myself. Fight for the desire to love and know God more. I must fight for joy.*
*When I Don't Desire God by John Piper
Ephesians 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 6:10-18
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The To-Do List
Ah the never ending to-do list. What sweet simplicity in being able to itemize my every anticipated action. How on earth would I ever remember that from 7:25 to 8:00 I am supposed to call and comfort a friend if not conveniently noted in bullet form? Am I the only one who does this? At what point though is this often times useful organizational strategy simply a means in which to control every minute detail of my life.
Hmm…possibly when the list begins to look like this:
• Leave work 4:30ish
• Dry cleaning/drive home 20 min
• Run 35 min
• Shower 25 min
• Dinner 6:00ish
• Call “friend” 20 min
• Errands 1 hr
• Walk with “friend" 8:00ish
• Read 30min
• Email/ computer 20 min
• Relax 20 min
• Bed around 10:30 ..(I know I’m a loser but I get up at like 5!)
This is one of my typical after school lists from last year. And that’s just during the week on a day when there is not much to do. This could also be a list from this year if I just change the leave work part to closer to 7. (bleh)
I know I am not the only one who finds themselves consumed with busyness and in response tries to manage their time. It seems like there is a sort of crossing into official adult hood when one has to schedule in “relax.” In a effort to combat this realization of a lack of time, rest suddenly becomes a priceless commodity that, try as I might to obtain, always seems just out of my reach. Now I must work ever harder in order to fit in a downtime. Ironically, I have found that the lack of activity does not necessarily equal rest and peace, my ultimate goal. Sometimes in fact if I have nothing to do that makes me even more anxious. Of course this has been a non-issue as of late as I have been consumed with the busyness of school. In the midst of extreme exhaustion and anxiety this past week I stumbled upon the following verse:
Matthew 11:28-30:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Sounds promising. But what exactly does “come to me” even mean? Well this is my interpretation presented to you in convenient bullet list form. (..drum roll..)
• Stop worrying about the future and trust that God has a plan and that His plan is better than mine
• Enjoy the beauty of today and be thankful
• Read God’s word to stay grounded in truth
• Talk to God. A lot. He listens. Even if you are longwinded like me. He cares too which is even better.
Yes I know another to-do list!! Hopefully though this one enables a peace the other ones always failed to produce.
Hmm…possibly when the list begins to look like this:
• Leave work 4:30ish
• Dry cleaning/drive home 20 min
• Run 35 min
• Shower 25 min
• Dinner 6:00ish
• Call “friend” 20 min
• Errands 1 hr
• Walk with “friend" 8:00ish
• Read 30min
• Email/ computer 20 min
• Relax 20 min
• Bed around 10:30 ..(I know I’m a loser but I get up at like 5!)
This is one of my typical after school lists from last year. And that’s just during the week on a day when there is not much to do. This could also be a list from this year if I just change the leave work part to closer to 7. (bleh)
I know I am not the only one who finds themselves consumed with busyness and in response tries to manage their time. It seems like there is a sort of crossing into official adult hood when one has to schedule in “relax.” In a effort to combat this realization of a lack of time, rest suddenly becomes a priceless commodity that, try as I might to obtain, always seems just out of my reach. Now I must work ever harder in order to fit in a downtime. Ironically, I have found that the lack of activity does not necessarily equal rest and peace, my ultimate goal. Sometimes in fact if I have nothing to do that makes me even more anxious. Of course this has been a non-issue as of late as I have been consumed with the busyness of school. In the midst of extreme exhaustion and anxiety this past week I stumbled upon the following verse:
Matthew 11:28-30:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Sounds promising. But what exactly does “come to me” even mean? Well this is my interpretation presented to you in convenient bullet list form. (..drum roll..)
• Stop worrying about the future and trust that God has a plan and that His plan is better than mine
• Enjoy the beauty of today and be thankful
• Read God’s word to stay grounded in truth
• Talk to God. A lot. He listens. Even if you are longwinded like me. He cares too which is even better.
Yes I know another to-do list!! Hopefully though this one enables a peace the other ones always failed to produce.
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