Sunday, January 11, 2009


I can sense the unraveling. Somehow I feel the first snag of this chosen covering, and I know that it is only a matter of time before it begins. An unnerving thought really. There isn’t always something to change into and the fear of everyone witnessing my increasingly “damaged” garment begins. Why couldn’t this have happened before I left the house when no one was around?

If the tear is on a place easily hidden, like a sleeve, then no big deal. But what if it is somewhere important? What if this snag threatens to ruin the integrity of my outfit? What then? What if a suitable replacement can not be found? I now run the risk of standing exposed in my imperfections! It may have started out as small but once the unraveling starts it is hard to stop. So how do I hide it?

And so this is my experience when an imperfection comes to the light. A fear of embarrassment and humiliation quickly begins, but over time I must choose to either accept the reality of what is or continue to hide. Fear creeps in of others discovering the reality that I’m not perfect; I don’t always say or do the right thing. In fact I do and say a lot of very stupid things to be quite honest. Quite possibly everyone already assumed the obvious. However I’ve tried quite hard to conceal my imperfections. Yet where exactly has that gotten me? Superficial relationships for one! And a disheartening realization that hardly anyone knows the real me.

My alternative? Stand. Exposed. But what if I am ridiculed, not liked, laughed at, and humiliated? Who will be willing to stand beside me?

Deuteronomy 31:6:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

I’ve heard it said that everyone’s greatest desire and fear is to be fully known. So is it worth the risk…to be truly known?! I guess that remains a mystery until I decide it is worth being exposed. And trust that I am not alone.

Isaiah 41: 13
For I am the Lord you God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

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